Play parties are events where people indulge in BDSM activities.
They are potentially excellent fun, where many people will be enjoying their particular fetish.

Can anyone attend?
Public play parties are open to anyone, subject to entrance fees, club membership etc.
They are normally held in a club and may be associated with a fetish fair.
Private parties are by invitation only and are often held in someone’s home.

How do people dress?
Different venues have different dress codes; however most encourage fetish wear.
You can expect to see people dressed in rubber, PVC, gothic, leather etc. Covered from head to toe, naked and everything in between.
Others will be dressed in vanilla clothes, e.g. jeans and tee shirts.
Doms tend to dress in dark colours and often wear leather jeans.
It is quite common to see TVs, ‘schoolgirls & boys’(over 18), occasionally slaves in full chains etc. too.

What happens?
You can expect to see subs in bondage, being flogged, caned and whipped. You may also see subs sitting bound and blindfold apparently on their own.
It is not unusual to see 2 Dom/mes working on 1 sub, 2subs together or 2 in turn. You may well see a slave in chains, struggling back and forth to the bar fetching drinks.

So people don’t just play with their partner?
Play parties are a great place to meet up with friends and many will play with each other.
A play party is also a great place for a sub to experience something new, or a Dom to learn a new technique, from someone who is more experienced. Often a toy such as a violet wand will attract several people who want to try it out and/or learn about it.
Single subs will often have a single Dom or a couple as friends who they will team up with, in the knowledge that the play is safe.

Can I join in then?
NO!
Unless you are invited to do so, do not try and join in. If you want to ask something or try something, wait until the scene is over and those involved have had time to ‘come down’ before approaching them.
Whilst most people are only too happy to help, interrupting a scene in any way is considered very bad manners. If someone wants you to join them, they will invite you.

Will there be any sexual activity?
There may well be. Though sexual intercourse is unlikely, many Doms use some sort of sexual contact with their sub. This may simply be stroking breasts; nipples etc. or they may masturbate their sub.
Self-masturbation is seldom accepted, and often results in the practitioner being removed from the club.

May I smoke?
This depends on the venue, however where smoking is not permitted it is for very good reason. Red hot cigarette ends can easily be knocked off and sent flying, subs in bondage or in subspace are not in any position to move out of the way of such missiles; also some outfits are very expensive and very delicate!
Subs often become dehydrated and short of breath during play, tobacco smoke aggravates both conditions.

What do I have to do?
Other than respect the house rules, absolutely nothing.
People who attend play parties accept, and often enjoy, the fact that there will be others there just watching. No one is expected to play unless they wish to do so.
If you are invited to play, it is an ‘invitation’ and may be refused. Even if it is made by the host.
Subs are NOT under any obligation to play with someone simply because that person is dom.
In the unlikely event that someone becomes annoying and doesn’t take no for an answer, simply contact the host or Dungeon Master.

Should I play at my first party?
That, of course, depends on you. If you feel comfortable playing then go for it, after all that’s what they are all about.

What about equipment?
Most play parties will have some dungeon furniture; this is for use by anyone.
Most venues have tissues and some form of cleaning fluid handy, do use it.
Whips, floggers, canes, violet wands etc., are not usually provided. Most people are happy to show their toys to others, some even allow others to use them, best though to take your own.

How hard do people play?
That very much depends on the individuals; however expect some to play very lightly and others quite hard.
It is worth mentioning that there are no rules saying you have to play hard at any party. Stick to what you and your partner are comfortable with. There are no prizes, or respect, for those who play beyond their limits to try and impress.

What should I do if I am concerned about how people are playing?
The best thing is to speak to the Dungeon Master or someone who is experienced.
Remember that we all play at different levels, what seems extreme to one person may be just a warm up for another.

What is a Dungeon Master?
The Dungeon Master is someone experienced who keeps an eye on proceedings to ensure that rules are not being broken, that people are behaving in an acceptable manner and that there are no subs in distress. They will know where the fire exits, extinguishers etc are; they will have a good idea of what constitutes safe or dangerous play; they are likely to be either trained in first aid or know who is.

How do I find when and where the nearest party is?
Asking in the chat rooms or people who live in your area is a good way, or check out the events section in the community. Also try www.informedconsent.co.uk, that is a good site for finding info on parties, munches and other lifestyle events across the UK.

Notes about safety
The organisers will want to do what they can to keep the event safe and happy, but the responsibility for your safety remains with you.
Before you play be sure that you and your partner are happy with what you are going to do.
Discuss and stick to your respective limits, it is absolutely fine to be the ones playing lightly.
Remember that the people next to you may have been doing this for the last 10 years; know each other very well and be absolutely aware of what their limits are.
As a rule of thumb, don’t drink alcohol if you are going to play. A clear head and good reactions are basic requirements for play. If you need alcohol to be able to do something, ask yourself if you should be doing it!
Exercise caution when moving around. Remember that many toys require a back swing, so be careful when walking behind a Dom who is in a scene.

NEVER walk between a Dom and sub. Floggers, canes etc HURT; a whip cracks when the tip breaks the sound barrier, you REALLY DO NOT want to be accidentally on the receiving end! There are far better ways to find out what they feel like!!

If in doubt, ASK. Almost everyone will be happy to help.

Jay