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Dungeon parties, play parties and BDSM clubs can be a mind blowing, wonderful experience. They are great places to watch ‘experts’ and find new ideas and techniques. Most have a selection of dungeon equipment that most of us can only dream of fitting into our homes!
This list of dungeon etiquette is by no means exhaustive, it is a good base though!
- If you are unsure of anything, ask a Dungeon Master, Organiser or one of the experienced members.
- DO NOT interfere with couples or groups who are doing a scene together.
Not only is it bad manners to crowd them or try and push in, but you can easily spoil the scene for them! If they want you, you will be invited.
- DO NOT touch or talk to a sub during a scene, unless asked to do so.
Touching or talking to a sub on the edge of sub space, even with the best of intentions, can ruin their whole night!
- DO NOT talk to, or distract, a Dominant during a scene.
Their job is to concentrate on what they are doing! Likewise, do not stand near to scene and chatter, which can be distracting for both dom and sub! There will be chill out areas where you can chat away without disturbing anyone.
- DO, however, feel free to talk to people who are not involved in a scene.
This is a great way to meet new people; learn new techniques; check out new equipment; ask for help etc. The vast majority of people are happy to help and advise when asked at the appropriate time. Do allow people time to relax and ‘come down’ after they have been playing.
- DO NOT walk between a Dominant and a submissive whilst corporal punishment is taking place.
Whips and canes etc. are designed to hurt; you will NOT be where they are meant to land and could well end up seriously hurt! Likewise be very careful if you need to walk behind a Dominant as he / she is swinging back.
If you are hit accidentally, you have ONLY yourself to blame. Do remember that a 6 foot whip is still 6 foot long on the backswing!
- DO be very careful with drinks and cigarettes etc.
Many of the outfits worn are very expensive and/or specially made, their owners REALLY do not want holes burned in them or drinks spilt over them!
- DO check with the Dungeon Master FIRST if you feel concern about how someone else is playing.
What’s too much for you, may be just a warm up for them!
- DO NOT touch other people's equipment, clothes, toys, etc.
If you want to look at or borrow something, always ASK first. And make sure you return it promptly afterwards!
- DO NOT touch someone else’s sub, unless asked to do so by their Dominant.
Remember that for some, leaving a sub in bondage and /or blindfolded etc., is all an important part of their scene. It is highly unlikely that a sub has been forgotten about!
- DO remember that being submissive, whether alone or not, doesn’t mean being available for anyone who describes themselves as dominant.
If you want to play with someone, ask them politely and accept whatever their answer is BEFORE you touch etc. If a submissive is with someone, you should politely approach whoever they are with, first. If either says no, that does NOT mean you should keep trying!
- DO NOT lounge around and sit on the bondage benches and dungeon furniture.
Find a chair. If you are sitting on the equipment, you are preventing someone else from using it for its intended purpose!
- DO feel free to watch a scene.
The people involved are aware that they are in public and won’t mind you watching. It is a very good way to learn new techniques and get some idea of how the variousimplements are used.
- DO play at your own level.
There is no prize for whoever plays hardest! There are very good reasons, & absolutely no shame, in playing lightly if that is what you want to do.
- DO have a drink ready for your sub to drink after the scene is over.
Many subs find playing very dehydrating, having the drink ready means you can attend to her thirst as part of the scene aftercare.
[ it also means you can send your sub to the bar to fetch the
drinks!!! ;o) ]
Most importantly, DO have fun!
Jay
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